Mario was sleeping... we were just chilling out, and then someone came to visit...can you guess who????? Here is a hint....
it was late, and a full moon that weekend, but noooo, it wasn't a vampire... but getting closer....
Yep! A BAT!!!! Seriously, a FREAKIN BAT flew over our heads in bed!!!!
Jeff and I about had a heart attack... my immediate reaction was to cover my head with the comforter and protect my pie (hee hee).... evidently that was Jeff's reaction, too, since I found him under there, also! ONE of us had to do something and based on my intense (and irrational, I am sure) fear of birds (and let's face it folks, bats are just angry confused nighttime birds) I knew that the "bat killer" was NOT going to be me.
Okay, so I am locked in the bathroom with the phone. Jeff ran after the bat into the living room. Our brave Shih tzu, Murry, went along to protect Jeff. I called my mommy. My parents' advice? Hit him with a tennis racket... okay, WHERE am I getting a tennis racket locked in the bathroom! I called Allie on her cell to tell her that Dad would be a little late to pick her up, so Pappy may have to get her.. she asked why... I told her that there was a bat in the house.. her reaction,
"Mom, go get it... it will EAT the baby!"
Oh, I was dying. So I am screaming, Jeff is yelling at me to shut up, the bat is flying around the living room, landing on the wreath and Jeff finally gets it out of the front door...
My HERO!
Once he comes to get me in the bathroom, I am freaking out. I am afraid to stay home while he gets Allie from the school... I ask him if he thinks that he brought his little bat buddies into the house. No, Jeff replies. I then ask him if he thinks that the bat could have laid eggs in the house. His reply:
Bats are mammals, Jill.
In the face of danger and fear, I apparently get stupid.
From now on I sleep with a tennis racket under the bed.
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22 comments:
Now that is one awesome story!
I am laughing so hard I'm almost peeing my pants. Holy shit!
I would have been scared to death too. And I would undoubtably be sleeping with a tennis racket next to my bed.
Did you ever figure out how he got in the house?
I literally am laughing so hard my kids think there is something wrong! You need to print that, frame it and put in the bathroom nest to a framed tennis racket! LOVE this, Jill!!!!!!!
That is so funny! Sorry, but I have such a clear picture of it!
I'm not afraid of birds but I HATE bats. They're just so, well, creepy!
Thank you so much!!! What a great way to start off my week! Yes, a tennis racket is ALWAYS good to have next to you, and makes soooo much sense.... NOT! OH man, I'm still laughing!
I'm getting a tennis racket and keeping it close.
I wish I could have been a "bat" on the wall!! LOL
Jill,
I needed that laugh..... When we were young we had a pool in our backyard. We also had a garage apt. out back with a chimney for the furnace. Bats lived in that chimney, and they would swoop down at our heads when we swam at night. We would have to duck under the water, so they wouldn't get our heads. To this day I am still creeped out by bats.....
OMG I can see you now!!!!!!
That is the funniest thing!!! I laughed out loud and Larry thought I was crazy until I read it to him:)
Girl..I'd be sleeping with the racket under my pillow:)
I would have reacted exactly the same way you did. However, I can't imagine my mother chasing a bat around our house with a baseball bat. Good thing you have Jeff!
Gail
okay, this made me laugh sooo hard!! LOL too funny in the face of bat danger!
ps, I don't know if you've ever seen "The Great Outdoors" with John Candy, but I kept picturing the bat scene in that movie when reading this.
OMG that made me laugh out loud! Hilarous! I'm glad you are all safe now! Your FFF below is priceless. He is just tooo stinkin' cute, handsome, adorable, Bella would definitely call him a HOTTIE!
BTW - Zumba is sorta aerobics and Latin dance moves to Latin, Carribean music. Too much fun!
OMG LOL LOL LOL LOL Sorry but that's hilarious!
HA!!!!! I am laughing so hard right now!!!! Of course, I would have been hiding in the bathroom, too! Too hilarious!
But, sooo glad you saved the pite, that the bat did not lay eggs or eat the baby! hee hee!!
I so needed that story!!! At first I thought this was going to be some x-rated post! So glad you all survived!!!
This one made me laugh out loud. Haven't done that in a while. THANKS for lightening up the mood in my head. I think I would have actually slept in the tub that night if it were me.
That is TOO funny. And just for the record, I have a fear of birds, too. So you're not alone in that, sistah!
Bats are mammals...too funny.
OH MY GOODNESS!!!!!!!! I soooo would have freaked out too!!! That is one funny story though!!
:)April
I am rolling on the floor laughing! What a story! I wish you had a video camera...it would have won you $10,000:)
Hilarious (well not so much having it in the house part... but the end reaction)! What a moment that was!!
I HAD to read this again - and the OZZY!!!! Too funny, woman!!!!!!! You know, I saw him when I was in 7th grade - my first concert - I convinced my mom (who wasa whale-belt wearing Jr. Leaguer) that he sounded like Kenny Loggins. She, never having heard of Ozzy, dropped me and the 2 scuzziest girls I could find from my middle school (nobody else's parents would let them go). She then proceeded to MEET us at the door - she had bought a ticket for herself, unbeknownst to me.
We lasted 3 songs - and she whisked us out. Right before he allegedly took a header on the stage and passed out. Good times. ;-)
I feel your pain girl!! I had the same thing happen to me when I was a teenager. Scary stuff, but sure makes a good story! lol
Glad the poor little guy got out alive without any racket indentations in his little behind.
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